Top Five Money Moves to Get Ready for Your Baby

Guest Post By Trey Holloway

Babies Are Expensive They Say….

But what does that really mean? Let’s talk about how can you prepare yourself not only physically and emotionally but also financially for a new baby.

Is newborn financial planning a thing? As someone who knows very little about personal finance I brought in an expert for this post to share some family finance tips and wisdom with you. I am lucky to be married to Trey for many reasons but one reason is that he happens to know a lot about personal finance and budgeting. Learning about these topics has been both a hobby of his as well as a part of his career for many years and he is currently the Director of Finance and Operations with his current company. When people say to choose your life partner wisely I often reflect on my lack of knowledge around money matters and how very lucky I am to have a partner that compliments my own strengths. I like to consider myself the CEO of our family (think: captain of the ship, setting the course, and making sure everyone stays on track) which would of course make Trey the CFO. I set the vision and he runs the numbers… It works for us. I asked Trey to help me with this post and I was genuinely curious to see what he would say. I realize the importance of preparing for a baby financially now that we are 10 years into parenting and I wanted Trey to share his knowledge with you all as you are just getting started. 

My Question To Trey: How would you tell a first time parent to prepare financially for a new baby?

His Key Points:

• Open a 529 Plan

• Participate in your workplace’s Dependent Care FSA (DCFSA) program 

• Freeze your new baby’s credit

• Hire an accountant

• Spend a little money on yourself

1.     Open a 529 Plan

529 plans are used to save money for your baby for college or private school (grades K-12). You need your baby’s social security number before you can even open a 529 naming them as a beneficiary, so be sure to make that one of your first to-do items. Once that is done, look to open an account with your state-run plan to maximize your state tax deduction for any contributions. Contributions to a state-sponsored 529 plan are often deductible (subject to limits) on your state taxes. For example, T. Rowe Price sponsors the plan for Maryland residents and Maryland residents can deduct contributions to the T. Rowe Price plan up to $5,000 per child if both parents contribute. Calvert Investments sponsors the plan for DC residents and the plan for Virginia residents contains investments from American Funds. There are other state plans, like Nevada’s plan with Vanguard, that may make sense for you if you’re looking for a lower fee structure. Don’t forget to actually select investments for the money once you contribute it.

2.     Opening at 529 is Great, but…

 Participate in your workplace’s Dependent Care FSA (DCFSA) program if one is available. A DCFSA let’s you set aside money on a pre-tax basis that can be used for childcare expenses. You should check the rules for your employer’s particular plan, but these funds can usually be used for daycare, a nanny, an au pair, etc., but cannot be used to pay a family member who provides you with childcare. The 2022 limit is $5,000 for a married couple filing jointly and $2,500 for an individual. If you’re going to spend $5,000 on childcare anyway, you might as well stash that money in a DCFSA and not pay taxes on it and take distributions to pay for childcare. You can then use those tax savings to fund your newly opened 529.

3.     Freeze your new baby’s credit

A new baby has no need for a credit card, but that doesn’t mean that someone won’t try to open one in their once their social security number is out there. Kids are increasingly becoming targets for identify theft and credit fraud, mostly because no one is thinking to check their credit report. How you can prevent your child from becoming the victim of bad credit before they can even spell credit? Call up the three major credit bureaus in the United States and request that their credit be frozen. This can easily be undone when your child actually needs credit.

4.     Hire an Accountant

Your tax situation will change when you have a child. It may change a little bit or it may change a lot, depending on your specific circumstances prior to the baby arriving. You can figure out a lot of this on your own, but when you’re a new parent, you’re super busy trying to figure the day to day out. Its worth bringing an accountant on board to review your situation. Adding a child may make you eligible for new deductions on your taxes and an accountant can help you identify what is relevant for your growing family.

5.     Spend a little money on yourself

You’ll hear lots things about baby moons. “They’re overrated!” “Definitely take the time to get away!” Count me firmly in the camp of those who urge you to plan and take a baby moon with your partner before the baby arrives. We are over ten years in from our first and we still talk about memories from that trip. We took a baby moon before the births of our second and third children as well. A babymoon doesn’t have to involve lots of flights and fancy hotels. Doing something within driving distance, or even locally, can still be a great opportunity for you and your partner to relax and reset before your family grows. We enjoyed spending a little money on ourselves, having great meals together and taking down time doing absolutely nothing (which becomes exceedingly rare as you add children to your family). Take advantage of this time together!

Have questions? Reach out HERE

Follow me on Instagram @sweetpeaprep for more helpful tips

Check out my FREE third trimester course to help you choose the right birth class for you!

When Your Newborn Won't Sleep: Crack The Code on Infant Sleep and Attachment Parenting

Infant Sleep Struggles & Strategies is Now Open!: Prevent Postpartum Sadness Through Infant Sleep Education; Gentle sleep training starts here.

Disclaimer: If you have found this blog post as a desperate new parent googling: “my newborn won't sleep” then please know that this one blog post will not get your crying baby to go to sleep. I do however think it’s a great place to start. It is meant to be a jumping off point to help you think about infant sleep differently and a discussion to help you to reevaluate your attachment with your infant. Please involve your pediatrician, and ask for help from your support network if you need a break. 

I Want To Be My Own Sleep Consultant!

Provide your email below to get a FREE copy of my Infant Sleep Assessment Tool. Utilize this learning resource to be your own sleep consultant and take aim at a better night sleep by first evaluating your baby's sleep hygiene.

Subscribe

Loading...

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list.

What Is The Deal With Infant Sleep?

Most new parents have a variety of questions as they begin the early care of their new baby but often those questions boil down to a few common themes with one main theme being newborn sleep. “When should I stop feeding at night?” When should I start sleep training?”  The list goes on and on. Often pediatricians and other providers are asked these questions as a result of postpartum fatigue from tired parents wondering how to get their child to sleep more. These questions may come from lack of understanding of a normal newborn sleep pattern and even comparisons to peers. The truth is that infants (0-3 months old) wake up. They are developmentally supposed to be stirring every few hours. The reality is that the normal newborn schedule with our current cultural norms and schedules do not match. I remember thinking every 2-3 hours with each night feeding in those early months, “I can do the baby part, it is just the rest of life that I can’t handle right now.”  For some people that means round the clock feedings and care of baby while working, for others, it’s keeping up the home or caring for the needs of their other children that can make it all feel a bit too much. Lack of sleep in the early days is even associated with increased rates of maternal depression postpartum. Parenting in the early months has many highs and lows and new parents are warned about the fatigue of infant care. While no one can fully prepare you for what is to come, why is it that some parents seem to have a harder time than others?  Understanding the dynamics that exist surrounding infant sleep, outside of the basic knowledge of newborn sleep patterns, will better prepare parents for the transition to newborn care.

The Sleep Emotion Connection

There are many individual elements that affect a baby's sleep patterns such as the baby's health and natural temperament as well as factors that affect a parent's abilities to care for their child such as mental health concerns or lack of support.  Every baby and family are unique. In a perfect world though a baby ultimately learns how to self soothe so that they can settle themselves through the repetitive cycles of sleep that are supposed to happen each night we lay down to rest. Some babies are “signalers'' which means that  at the end of each cycle the baby is awake and letting you know. Initially babies signal to alert a parent that it’s time to eat but eventually your baby gets big enough that they no longer need to consume calories at night yet still signal. One critical issue at the crux of the infant sleep conundrum is the way in which the attachment between a parent and infant will affect sleep patterns and sleep patterns then affect a parents response. During the transitional months from 3-6 months of life when your baby cries, how you respond matters. They learn each time from your actions how to behave moving forward. It is important to show a baby in the first few months of life that they are secure and safe and that their needs are being met, and this is where it gets tricky. It’s a “what came first the chicken or the egg” situation. If your baby under 6 months old cries because they don’t know how to emotionally self regulate, and how you respond shapes attachment and attachment shapes baby’s emotional self regulation then where do you begin? How can you show a small baby, when they are developmentally ready, that they are able to soothe themself without damaging the bond between parent and child that sets a child up for emotional self regulation in the future. 

What Is Infant Attachment And Why Does It Matter?

Attachment related to child development is defined by Mary Ainsworth (1963), a developmental psychologist pioneering the research on attachment theory, as a “secure base from which to explore,” and by John Bowlby (1969/1982), her counterpart, as a unique relationship between an infant and his caregiver that is the foundation for further healthy development. When considering the activities of infants and the length of time they spend eating and sleeping in a 24 hour period one can conclude that a significant portion of the parent infant interactions are centered around vital activities such as eating and sleep. Bowlby described attachment theory as an inherent biological response and behavioral system in place to provide satisfaction of basic human needs. (Flaherty, Sadler, 2012). Few activities could be described as more inherent than the infants need to sleep. Attachment Parenting however is the culturally nuanced style of parenting centered around the Attachment Theory created by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth played out in the day to day life of a family. This style of parenting is meant to guide the child toward a secure attachment which will help the child to better self regulate their emotions in the future. The way in which a parent responds to a child surrounding sleep behaviors and challenges affects the infant's response towards the parent and therefore the attachment relationship between the two. 

Practice Makes Perfect

The repeated interactions with parents in emotion-laden contexts allow infants to become increasingly able to autonomously use strategies to regulate their emotional arousal. The organization of behaviors within the attachment relationship thus affects how children organize and regulate their emotions and behaviors towards the environment. (Kim, Stifler, Philbrook, Teti, 2014). The parent child bond is developed initially by face to face contact and a sensitive response to  the child during caregiving measures such as tending to the infant’s basic needs to be held and fed and kept clean. The parent child bond is maintained by continuing to provide “a level of emotional availability and warm sensitive care.” Let’s delve a bit deeper into how this early attachment relates to sleep and how too much and too little “availability” can lead to sleep challenges. 

What It Means To Be “Mom Enough”

Dr. Erickson outlines certain key elements that children need to thrive including 1. A secure base 2. A rich language environment 3. Opportunities for free play and exploration 4. Limits with love and logic 5. Opportunities to contribute (Dr Marti and Erin Erickson, 2016). Check out her write up on being Mom Enough which really sums it all up amazingly. Parents have the opportunity during each interaction with their child to use physical affection, the tone of their voice, and soothing techniques to respond to infant cries in a way that builds attachment. Setting healthy bedtime routines however creates limits with love and logic as described by Dr. Erickson. Using techniques that teach a baby that her mother is both there for him/her but that limits exist and that it is time to go to sleep is the goal. Working to maintain the bond between a parent and child demonstrates a commitment to the importance of early interactions with your child and how they impact and shape your child’s future. 

---

The Goal Is Not To Mom Too Little Or Too Much, But “Mom Enough”

As child development research continues to show, from infancy to adulthood, there are certain key elements children need in order to thrive and grow up well. As summarized below, those are the elements of being “mom enough” (and “dad enough” too!).

1. A secure base

2. A rich language environment

3. Opportunities for free play and exploration

4. Limits with love and logic

5. Opportunities to contribute

(Dr Marti and Erin Erickson, 2016)
Read more from Dr. Ericksons here about why attachment matters

---

Consider How Sleep Strategies And Sleep Training Affect The Sleep Emotion Cycle

When discussing infant sleep strategies parents are often overwhelmed by the plethora of options and conflicting styles and are often left wondering what is the most effective and right approach for their family. Parents are often presented with a mainstream approach, where parents let the baby “cry it out.” that forces them to choose between responding to their babies cries or getting much needed sleep. The challenge with this approach of leaving your baby to cry until they fall asleep is that this approach is often not sustainable by parents and with inconsistency it can be ineffective or even backfire. Mothers in particular often feel like they are choosing between the wellbeing of their child (responding to their cries) and their own personal wellness and ability to sleep (not responding to the baby’s cries). As parents contemplate their bond with their new baby along with the sleep strategy decision at hand they are left even more confused. Attachment Parenting is often misunderstood as the constant proximity or nearness of a parent to their child or even the constant response to the baby when s/he cries.  Instead it is actually the trust that a child has in their parents that their needs will be met. Parents are best to remember that there is no specific set of tasks that will ensure a secure attachment but yet a framework of action that builds the parent child bond. Your behaviors with your child over time will allow your child to learn how to self regulate their emotions. 

---

Infant Sleep Struggles & Strategies

Preventing Postpartum Sadness Through Infant Sleep Education

My Newest Online Course Is Now Enrolling!

---

Can We Have Sleep And A Secure Attachment? I say YES!

As parents learn about sleep strategies they must consider the unique factors of their specific mother baby pair and the goal for the whole family in the context of the baby's developmental stage. As a sleep consultant training in a sensitive approach I believe that each family can come up with a plan that both encourages healthy sleep habits for the child’s developmental ability and enhances the attachment between parent and baby. Families are allowed to desire not only a more restful night sleep but to also want a secure bond between the parent and child. The way that you guide your baby to sleep is an opportunity to develop and support a secure bond. Parents are often fearful of damaging this connection when they hear their baby cry and deserve tools that allow them to ease towards a balanced solution. 

If you are thinking about utilizing a consultant for sleep, a great one will work to foster the connection between a parent and child by helping a parent find their own solution to their sleep concern and by supporting the family as they take the steps necessary to achieve an established goal. A consultant can actively listen to the story of that parent and validate the knowledge and awareness s/he has of her own baby. S/he can then reflect back to the parents an impression of the situation and help the family create a plan that makes sense to them so as to ensure a sustainable solution. Supporting a parent as they move towards their own solution allows the parent to feel confident in their innate skills. They will see in practice that they have the ability to be both emotionally available while also consolidating their infant’s sleep. Providing a plan forward and steps towards consolidated sleep that allow parents to remain in touch with the emotional needs of their baby will ultimately be a more sustainable solution. The combination of a thoughtful plan, a consultant's emotional support centered around active listening,  plus education on infant development will ultimately ease a parents mind surrounding their approach to sleep interventions.  

Things To Remember:

• If you have a bad night with your baby you have not ruined your attachment bond. Bonds are created over time. 

• Babies can bond with more than one person so it does not always have to be the same person to tend to the baby and if you have the means to get help at night then that is also not harmful to your relationship with your child. 

• If your baby will not sleep then you should involve your pediatrician to ensure that your baby is healthy before researching sleep strategies. 

• Check in on sleep expectations for your baby’s age. Sleep training should not be started until at least 4 months old (usually closer to 6 months) and when you know your baby is ok without night feedings. Ask your pediatrician if you are not sure.  

• Babies typically are not able to self soothe until 6 months of age, so do not expect your baby to go back to sleep without help. Consider however the 5-6 month age as a training ground for self soothing and some babies will get it sooner than others.

Increase Both Your Sleep And Satisfaction As A Parent

Join me in class to learn more about not only the problem but the solutions as well! Check out more about the new Sweet Pea Prep Infant Sleep course focused on improving maternal (and partner) satisfaction through sleep education.

References:

Ainsworth MD. The development of infant-mother interaction among the Ganda. In: Foss BM, editor. Determinants of infant behavior. New York: Wiley; 1963. pp. 67–112. [Google Scholar]

Bowlby J. Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. 2. New York: Basic Books; 1969/1982. [Google Scholar]

Erin & Marti Erickson, 2016 Mom enough https://momenough.com/?page_id=63

Flaherty SC, Sadler LS. A review of attachment theory in the context of adolescent parenting. J Pediatr Health Care. 2011 Mar-Apr;25(2):114-21. doi: 10.1016/j.pedhc.2010.02.005. Epub 2010 May 1. PMID: 21320683; PMCID: PMC3051370.

Kim BR, Stifter CA, Philbrook LE, Teti DM. Infant emotion regulation: relations to bedtime emotional availability, attachment security, and temperament. Infant Behav Dev. 2014 Nov;37(4):480-90. doi: 10.1016/j.infbeh.2014.06.006. Epub 2014 Jul 2. PMID: 24995668; PMCID: PMC4262588.

6 Postpartum Symptoms That Surprise Women

What To Expect After Having A Baby

We have all heard about the giant undies and seen the ice pack Tik Toks but below is a list of common postpartum symptoms that women may find surprising as well as tips for how to prepare for the postpartum period. Many changes happen to your body postpartum related to birth and healing as well as the transformative process of early mothering. Women are educated by providers on warning signs prior to hospital discharge but there are a host of bothersome normal symptoms that you may wonder if they are normal as well. Your body post birth is experiencing a host of massive physical and hormonal changes that lead to new sensations, symptoms and challenges. Understanding what is normal and not normal will hopefully reduce your anxiety and help you know when to ask for help. Be sure to watch out for the concerning signs and symptoms after birth which I have provided information on at the end of this post. Be sure to call your provider if you are ever concerned or unsure. Even if what you are experiencing is normal there may be some tips or medications that may help you be more comfortable. 

6 postpartum symptoms that women ask about after birth:

1. Postpartum Sweats

2. The Timing and Flow of Your First Postpartum Period

3. Postpartum Cramping

4. Swelling Post Birth

5. The Loneliness And Isolation Of Breastfeeding

6. Vaginal Itching After Birth

Lets get one thing out of the way
If you are still pregnant don’t wait until after birth to learn what you need to know to ease the transition. It’s a lot harder that way. Check out my class offerings HERE


Back to your regularly scheduled programming…

Postpartum Hot Flashes or Sweats

Did you think hot flashes were just for menopause? Think again. When your baby is born and the placenta detaches from your uterine wall it sends a signal to your body that you no longer need to support a pregnancy. The estrogen levels fall following birth and similar symptoms to menopause can occur, including hot flashes. One study (1) showed that a third of women experienced this postpartum bothersome symptom. And similar to menopause women had a higher rate of reporting hot flashes if they had a higher BMI, depressive symptoms, or a lower education level. The good news is that as your hormones stabilize you will experience these symptoms less often. In the meantime dress in layers until the hot flash subsides.

(1) Fertil Steril. 2013 Dec; 100(6): 1667–1672. Prospective Evaluation of Hot Flashes during Pregnancy and Postpartum; Published online 2013 Sep 12. doi: 10.1016/j.fertnstert.2013.08.020

Rebecca C. Thurston, PhD,a,b James F. Luther, MA,b Stephen R. Wisniewski, PhD,b Heather Eng, BA,b and Katherine L. Wisner, MD MSc

The Timing and Flow of Your First Postpartum Period 

The timing of your first period after having a baby will be affected by how often you breastfeed your baby. Most women will bleed vaginally postpartum for approximately 6-8 weeks. The postpartum bleeding will taper down over that time transitioning in flow as well as color. Postpartum bleeding, called lochia, will begin as a menses flow and then become light pink and eventually yellow in color before returning to normal. For the mom who is breastfeeding exclusively she will likely not get her first period until 6 months postpartum or after. If breastfeeding frequency becomes irregular or supplemental formula is introduced then a period may return earlier or in a more irregular pattern. When your period does return, the heavy flow of your first period is what shocks most women. The cycles that follow however are typically less intense and a bit lighter in flow than the first. Your uterus has physically changed after carrying a pregnancy so your periods will as well. The first heavy flow is often due to a thickened endometrial lining and a bigger uterus than prior to pregnancy. Track your bleeding and bring any concerns to your provider but if the period is coming at a regular interval you may want to see what the first few are like to know if this is a consistent issue or just the struggle of a first postpartum period.

Postpartum Cramping Of The Uterus

Your uterus is a muscle which has stretched to hold a pregnancy, the muscle contracted during labor, and likely you were aware of your uterus in a whole new way because of the new and uncomfortable sensations of pregnancy and birth. When your baby was born you likely did not consider what your uterus would be doing but surprisingly the contractions continue. That large loose uterus has to cramp and clamp back down to shut off the blood supply that was previously feeding your placenta. The postpartum cramping is also a way to help your uterus return back to normal size. In each subsequent pregnancy your postpartum cramps will be more intense as your uterus is more active and has farther to go to return back to normal size. Your postpartum pain meds like Ibuprofen will help with this type of discomfort. Heads up though, you will likely also feel heightened cramping triggered by activities such as nursing your baby and physical activity. 

Swelling Post Birth

For many women swelling in their ankles and hands is expected in the third trimester of pregnancy but they are surprised that it can worsen or even present for the first time postpartum. This postpartum symptom can be a bit tricky though as some postpartum swelling is concerning for a severe complication called postpartum preeclampsia. For approximately one week after birth the hormonal changes cause women to continue to retain water leading to puffy skin, with more noticeable changes in dependent areas or parts of your body which hang such as your lower extremities. Sudden new swelling accompanied by high blood pressure, headache, or vision changes however can be a sign of postpartum preeclampsia so your provider should be notified if you notice any sudden new symptoms. Your provider will help decide if what you are experiencing is normal and if a work up is warranted.  See the list of worrisome postpartum warning signs below. Women who have had an especially long hospital stay, induction, or have received IV fluids may notice more swelling as they have been given additional fluids on top of what they are already retaining. Outside of severe postpartum concerns such as pre-eclampsia, the normal retained fluids are naturally excreted with time. You will notice increased urinary volume and sweating as your body sheds the excess fluids. Keep your extremities elevated and be sure to continue hydrating orally however as you need the intake to continue to make breastmilk. 

The Loneliness and Isolation Of Breastfeeding

Having a baby is often touted as a joyous time with frequently heard phrases such as “enjoy the snuggles,” and “savor every moment” and “it goes by fast.” While those phrases are not wrong it is often countered by the extreme feelings of sadness and isolation that come with early parenting. Having a new baby makes leaving the house challenging and recovering from your delivery takes longer than most people realize. I often have to remind women who are anxious to get back to their normal routines that they should delay exercise and strenuous activity until 6 weeks postpartum to allow their body to heal. As a result many women feel out of sorts and wonder what they are supposed to be doing and if they are “doing it right.” If you are in a culture without the built in local family support and community you may be left feeling both a bit trapped in your home and alone.

Breastfeeding adds an additional element of isolation as the feeding of a new baby is left to mom alone in the first month especially. Once a breastmilk supply is established and pumping begins around 2 weeks of life, bottles are often introduced at 3-4 weeks old and mom may get a bit more independence. Even when a baby takes bottles though she is beholden to either the baby or the breast pump to maintain her milk supply. For our extroverted friends this can be a hard time! Women who feel modest about exposing their breasts additionally may choose to sit alone in a private room to feed and care for their baby, adding to the loneliness. Some women choose to venture out which is not an easy task. I have a strong memory of finishing my Target “shopping” (aka as me crying amongst the racks and calling my husband who promptly instructed me to “get out of there”) with my first baby and then spending an hour in the parking garage feeding her, changing her before I could leave. I am in DC so parking is not free and I stayed so long I had to pay the parking twice!! Pro tip: Nordstrom has a breastfeeding room. It will feel like an oasis in your adventure out of the house.

A word of encouragement…

One of the biggest lessons I learned after having three kids was that there is no right way to do things so don’t beat yourself up. Babies cry and babies wake up frequently not because you are doing something wrong but because that is what babies do. There is nothing you should be doing in the first few months other than helping your baby transition to the outside world. I encourage you to accept the help offered to you, set small goals, and get some sunshine on a regular basis. When people say enjoy the snuggles I think they mean - you are exactly where you need to be. These phases don't last forever but when its your first you have no context. You did not sign up for a life of isolation… its just for now. I promise you will become more sure of yourself, your parenting choices, and feeding in public over time as the baby gets bigger and stronger. 

Vaginal Itch After Birth

Many women complain of postpartum vaginal itching and assume it is an infection such as yeast. The truth is that you should expect a mild level of itching postpartum for 2 reasons - healing and lack of estrogen. If you have had any stitches due to tearing with a vaginal birth the skin will feel itchy as it begins to heal. One clue that this may be what you are experiencing is that the itch is focal and in the specific location of your tear and or repair. If you are not sure go in for an evaluation by your provider and they can confirm that everything is ok. Pus or worsening redness in the places where tears occurred is not normal but a very mild itch may actually be a positive sign of healing. The second cause of itching is a more generalized itch related to low estrogen post birth causing a thinning of the vaginal tissue and a dry sensation on the skin that is more noticeable or uncomfortable for some. The tools provided for you post birth such as a spray bottle, ice pack and a sitz bath are designed to help these areas heal. 

Tips for postpartum vaginal care: 

• For the first two-5 days ice will help reduce pain and swelling

• The spray bottle with warm water in it will help you keep the vaginal area clean without wiping

• Be sure to pat the vaginal area dry after spraying as moisture can cause skin breakdown

• The sitz bath with warm water will be great for the second week postpartum to bring blood flow to the sutures and promote healing. 

• Sensitivity is normal in the areas of trauma for many months postpartum so be aware that even after the skin visually has healed it may still be sensitive during intercourse for months after. 

• Breastfeeding prolongs the hormonal shift that can cause vaginal itching or dryness so be aware that some symptoms may persist while you are breastfeeding your baby. 

• Use lubricant with intercourse, go slow, and talk to your provider if you are concerned that what you are feeling is not normal. 
  
  

Postpartum Warning Signs & When To Call Your Medical Provider - From The CDC

• Headache that won't go away or gets worse with time

• Dizziness or fainting

• Changes in your vision

• Fever of 100.4F or higher

• Extreme swelling in your face or hands

• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

• Trouble breathing

• Chest pain or a fast beating heart

• Severe nausea or throwing up

• Severe belly pain that does not go away or worsens

• Heavy postpartum bleeding and or clotting

• Foul smelling vaginal discharge

• Severe swelling redness or pain in your leg or arm

• Overwhelming Tiredness

Learn More About How To Prepare For Birth

Check out my suite of classes to better prepare yourself for the realities of birth. I will walk you through what to expect and why.

A FREE Checklist To Prepare Your Home For Baby

Wondering where to begin as you get your home ready for a new baby? This checklist should get you off to a good start.

It’s hard to imagine what life will look like once your baby is born. I hope this Preparing For Baby Checklist is a helpful tool as you get your home ready for your little one! This list is intended to set you on your way to a more confident start. Transitioning to the role of parent is hard, so let’s make the rest as simple as possible.  The truth is that babies do not need much…. Diapers, a safe place to sleep, and a car seat are the real must haves… so don't overthink it. Let the list guide you but think of these recommendations as guidance and understand that different families and babies will need different things. 

Consider your choices under the umbrella of aiming to make life easier whenever you can. When you have a new baby convenience translates to more time with your family and a more gentle relationship with your partner and support network. When you have to choose between spending time with your child and errands, sending emails, scrolling through Instagram…. ALWAYS choose your child. Lastly, thank goodness for Amazon prime… don’t forget you can always order what you need later. : )

Free Checklist - 10 Essential Tips To Prepare Your Home

Signup now and I will send you a PDF checklist of my 10 Essential Tips To Prepare Your Home For Baby. 

Subscribe

Loading...

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list.

Want more help on how to choose a birth class? Check out this blog post!

40 Weeks Pregnant & Wondering What The Deal Is With Birth Stories? - Here Is One Way to Document Your Own

A birth story is the telling of a birth experience, and a way for many women to document the birth of their baby. A birth story means putting pen to paper or fingers to keys to tell the story of how the baby got out of your body. You may think that telling your birth story is gimmicky, cheesy, or even odd but there is a solid reason so many women discuss, and document their births. Women tell/share/write their birth stories as a part of the healing process in the postpartum stage.

So, why is your birth worth writing about? What is all the fuss about and why would you care to read someone else’s story? Birth is a transformative physical and mental experience and often women come out on the other side with both amazement and questions. Amazement for what they were able to physically do with their body and questions about how it unfolded. Writing the story of your birth can help you to not only remember the experience but process what happened to you. There is a reason people say “if we did not forget our birth we may not have a second child.” Biology is no joke. Working through your sadness, joy and your memories and details helps you process the events and focus on the beauty of the experience. Some things you quickly forget after birth might be words said, positions you were in, decisions made, who was in the room and more! As you hold your baby it all feels worth it and you know you would do it all over again to have your little person with you. Maybe you had the birth you expected, maybe it was completely different than your plan. The experience, either way, made you a mother and you are now changed forever because of it. Writing your birth story may help you figure out if the process could have been different or simply help you remember the joy forever.

Speaking of working through your birth experience…

So often I find that depression and sadness come from a place of unmet expectations. Some of my patients who have the lowest expectations (ex: “I am going to hate breastfeeding and probably wont last,” “being a mom sounds really hard,” or “I don’t care so much about how the baby comes out”) are the ones that often find extreme joy in their new transformation. Most new moms, even if they intellectually understand that breastfeeding will be a learning process, beat themselves up when it doesn’t work asking themselves, why couldn’t I do it? Some women tell themselves things like, “if I had not been induced” or “only waited to get my epidural I wouldn’t have had a cesarean.” Don’t get me wrong, its great to have a plan and set goals so you can work towards those goals proactively, but being flexible and open minded when bringing your baby into the world allows you to focus on the simple joys of meeting your baby and realizing the amazing strength within you.  

Back to our regularly scheduled program….

Do you ever wonder why women share very detailed sometimes scary facts about their own birth experience with expectant women? Its because women are eager to share their experience and revel in the awe filled intensity. The message is not always delivered in the best way (in my opinion) as they themselves may not fully understand why they share the information. The truth is that with each gritty detail they are trying to say: birth is both intense and beautiful, it is tear evoking and joyful AND I am a bad ass who is way tougher than I could have ever imagined!

You are about to go through your own transition and there is no way to predict the future or to fully explain the depth of the childbirth experience so women share their own stories. Think of birth stories as a written version of that birth video you are too scared to watch. I encourage you to read the stories of other women as you prepare for your own birth. I distinctly remember holding my baby for the first time and thinking, “ohhh this is what they are talking about.” You will soon be one of the many who have gone through this life changing process. Reading birth stories will give you context for your own experience and a connectedness to a broader community of women who have chosen to become birthing mothers.

For those just getting started on a pregnancy journey, below is one idea for how to document your experience in pregnancy and birth in book format. When I first created a book for my first child I imagined my daughter reading it one day but as I look back on each book created I find it is more for myself… at least for now.

This is how I made my birth books:

1.       Create a private blog through your google account. I didn’t want anyone else stumbling across my inner most thoughts. The blog allows you to keep your entries online and all in one place.

2.       Write each entry as its own separate blog post. I chose to write an entry approximately every month in my pregnancy and then documented my birth story a few weeks after each birth. I uploaded my bump pics and any relevant photos to the appropriate posts. You could do a post for your baby shower, pictures of the baby blanket you are making, and things like photos of a dear friend coming over to help you get ready for baby or a babymoon trip. You could even take a photo of yourselves watching your Sweet Pea Prep birth classes! ; )

3.       When all the entries are done you will want to go back and edit them for spacing and appearance and put the titles in that you like. These titles will become the titles of each section of your book.

4.       I then used a service that turns your blog into a book. The platforms will allow you to directly upload the content and edit to make your book just the way you like it.

5. Then you purchase the book and it is mailed to you house!

Maybe you don’t want to create a book….there are so many creative ways to tell your birth story. Maybe you would rather write a letter to your baby or you could create a framed print to remember the experience. You also don’t have to be creative at all… you could simply send yourself an email that you can look back at when you feel like it. I simply encourage you to process the experience, both the highs and the lows. Remember how brave you were, how beautiful your baby was, how supportive your partner was (or something silly they did), and how surprised and amazed you were by your strength as a new mom!

Want to create a pregnancy journal? Check out my Journal Templates